Focus on what is good

“Yuki, I’m so sorry!  Are you mad at me?”
My 7-year-old client, “Hanna,” clutched a toy she had just snapped in half.  “It’s O.K., Hanna.  You had fun playing with it.”
Her frown instantly flipped into a smile.
Two minutes later, she was happily drawing a smiley face like nothing ever happened.

Kids are amazing.
They break a toy… and move on.
Adults break a plan… and move into a spiral.

Why do we focus on what’s wrong?
We are born good.
Our core is good.
But our mind…loves drama.

Psychologist Rick Hanson calls it our negativity bias.
Bad things stick like Velcro.
Good things slide off like Teflon sprayed with cooking oil.

Troubles, obstacles, setbacks….they can discourage you or knock you off your goals.
You might even think, “ I give up.  I’m done.  Good-bye, world.” 

But, remember, nothing is permanent.
Toys break.
Plans break.
Phones break the day after the warranty ends.
That’s life.

So when something goes wrong, try asking:
“What’s keeping this from being worse?”
or
“If this is a 6 out of 10 (10 being the worst), why isn’t it an 8?”

That question lifts you out of the doom spiral.
You start remembering the times you handled things… even when life felt impossible.
You may not have a full answer right away, but you’ve planted a seed:
Look for what’s good.

Nobody is one “bad thing” all the time.
Even someone in deep depression has moments, tiny moments, where things hurt a little less.

Find those moments.
What made them lighter?
What helped?

Once you see even a crack of light, hope walks in.
Hope is the engine of healing.

Hold on to it.
It gets better.