The person in front of you
Last week, at the doctor’s office, I waited in the lobby for 15 minutes. That’s…. somewhat expected.
Finally, the doctor’s assistant appeared….the human version of “Next!” She marched me to the exam room, efficient but not warm. She fired questions at me like she was on expresso:
“Any changes in symptoms?”
“Same meds?”
“Any concerns?”
I answered, but she was clearly already in the next room in her mind.
Then she turned on the eye chart. Great. I’m heavily myopic, and…of course…this is the one day I forgot my driving glasses. I squinted. The letters looked like modern art.
So she slapped a dark, holed pirate patch over one side of the exam glasses and said, “Try again.”
I was like a confused squirrel.
The whole time, she was grabbing equipment, handing it back, taking it away…no eye contact, no warmth.
And she uttered the classic parting phrase, “Dr. will be with you shortly,” and…poof…gone.
As a therapist, I thought:
“Oh, no…
How am I… like her?”
How often are we so rushed we forget the human being right in front of us?”
If there’s one thing therapy teaches you, it’s this: You never know how much pain someone is carrying.
A rushed interaction + no smile = instant extra stress.
Years ago, I made a vow:
Look at the person in front of you as precious. As special. As someone who absolutely deserves kindness…Just like you do.
When someone annoys you, remember:
People are your mirrors. They reflect your flaws… and your goodness…and your attitude on a bad Monday.
Judging others is easy. Judging yourself? That’s a mile run.
Then, the doctor walked in.
Usually, as soon as she barges in, she says, “Any questions?” Usually, I have a list. Because I treat doctor visits like job interviews.
For them.
But this time, I stayed silent and let her do her thing.
Then, the questions started bubbling up.
She told me I have cataracts in addition to glaucoma. So I asked:
“How do cataracts affect glaucoma?”
She said, “That’s a 2-hour residency discussion. Too complex. Don’t worry about it.”
That means…“I don’t feel like talking about that.”
I also asked about alternative healing like red light therapy, acupuncture. Things I read online and watched in webinars.
She waved them away.
“Bring the articles next time. We’ll see if any of it’s valid.”
I thought, “Doc… this is a conversation starter, not a test. Today, I’m not trying to graduate medical school.”
Then I thought of my clients.
They Google everything. They ask, “Do I have this diagnosis? Or this one? Or ALL of them?”
Sometimes I reassure. Sometimes I say, “I don’t know that modality.”
It’s humbling. Grad school gives you a toolbox… but not the whole Home Depot.
Then, I remember my husband Greg saying,
“I hire doctors to get what I want. Many times, they don’t know.
The doctor who ordered the test didn’t even know it wasn’t recommended anymore.”
Greg… always dropping truth bombs.
So, here’s what I learned….again:
As a healthcare consumer, Learn everything you can. Ask questions. If your doctor won’t answer, it might be because they don’t know.
Good doctors will say, “Let me look it up.”
Take charge of your health.