Focus adjustment: From “me, myself, I” to… “we, ourselves, us”
At 20, one evening, my friend Eri and I sat in the dark corner of a restaurant.
It matched my mood—dark, gloomy, and depressed.
Problems were pouring out of my mouth like a-just-shaken carbonated water.
Poor Eri just sat there, nodding politely, but her face said, “Yuki… please… stop… my noodle’s getting cold.”
Problems stayed.
When you focus on your problems, you won’t be happy. When you focus on yourself, especially your problems, issues, or “life crises at 20,” everything feels huge. When you focus on your goals, progress, and accomplishments, they also grow bigger. It’s simple physics! (Well… emotional physics.)
Whatever you focus on expands. So, choose wisely.
Here’s the trick:
Get out of your anxious, upset, “I-messed-up-again!” mind and notice what’s good around you. Appreciate what you have.
Then take it one step further. Look beyond yourself.
Because when you focus only on “me, myself, and my problems,” you miss the joy that comes from helping others. And as Grandma would say, “Giving is receiving… And, it’s cheaper than therapy.” 😄
People who are perpetually preoccupied with themselves aren’t happy—
their problems pull them down. And they just keep spinning in the rinse cycle of overthinking.
Remember: All lives are interdependent.
A forest tree isn’t out there thinking, “I’m such a great tree, look at my bark!”
No! The trees share water, oxygen, and nutrients. They depend on one another. They are one big happy forest family.
So are we.
There’s no separation between you and me. All of us have the sacred, divine Self within. When you start seeing everyone as holy and connected, you’ll find joy in helping, peace in serving, and laughter in living.
Because when you stop staring at your own problems and start focusing on others,
your problems don’t disappear…they just shrink down to a manageable, “Not bad. I’m O.K.”
Focus on others.
Find ways to serve.
And happiness will quietly sneak back into your heart…probably humming, “Told you so!”