Question your thoughts

When was the last time you made a mistake?  Yesterday?  This morning?  Or on the way here?   How did you take it?  Were you hard on yourself?  Many people say words like, “I’m not good enough.”   Or do you see the mistake as a welcome part of learning, growth, and… success?

Here is the problem: Our self-talk is powerful.  That inner voice can be your coach, or the meanest bully.  If you ask yourself, “Why am I such an idiot?, ” your brain pulls out all your mistakes, failures, and flaws, and you will relive those awful moments and feel bad.  Your thoughts play a huge role in keeping you stuck.   

When caught with negative thoughts, slow down, pay attention to your physical sensations.   Your heart may be beating fast, your breath may be fast, shallow, choppy, your stomach may churn.  Your body is telling you something is off and needs attention.  These body signals can make you worry, depressed, or upset.  What do you do when you have these emotional reactions?  You will take an action that makes you feel safe, secure, and sane.  You may stay home, stay in bed all day, avoid talking to others, or keep eating even after you are full.   Thoughts trigger physical reactions, then emotional reaction, then action. 

When you notice your thought, pause for a moment and ask, “Is it true?” “What’s the proof?”  “Good enough for what?  Tying my shoes?  Turning on the stove?  Or taking the trash out?  I’ve nailed that.”

Ask these questions, then, you are dismantling what seems to be the truth of who you are.  You are not your thoughts.  You do not have to follow them.  Don’t believe everything you think.  Look at it.  Question it.  If it doesn’t serve you, let it go.  

A lot of our self-talk started in childhood.  Maybe your parents/caregivers criticized you, mistreated you, or neglected you.  They have their own problems.  Those adults themselves might have had horrible childhood trauma and projected their problems on you.  You might have come to believe what they told you or how they made you see yourself.  Or you might have grown up in a dangerous neighborhood and ended up not trusting people.   So, it makes sense that those thoughts are ingrained in you.  But it does not mean you are stuck forever.  You can create a life you want.  Are you ready to say, “I’m perfect the way I am?”  Then, your chest feels warm, your breath slows down, your face relaxes.  You feel good.  And you will act in ways that bring more joy.

Never underestimate the power of your words.